Why Involving Fathers in the Abortion Conversation Matters

Let’s have a conversation around dads and abortion. Discussions around abortion usually focus on women, but men have a crucial role to play as well. Here are six reasons why fatherhood should be part of these conversations. 

6 Reasons Why Involving Fathers in the Abortion Conversation Matters 
1. Fathers Have Influence. 

Fathers often have a big say in the decision to have an abortion. A Lifeway Research survey found that 75% of men were asked by their partners about abortion, and 38% of these men were the most influential voice in the decision (more than doctors, mothers, or friends.) Many men suggest abortion due to financial worries, feeling unprepared, or relationship problems. That’s why providing resources and classes to men is so important and can help them feel more ready for fatherhood and empowered to choose life! 

2. He Probably Doesn’t Know He Has Influence. 

Many men don’t realize their impact. In the same Lifeway survey, 31% of men gave no advice, thinking it was solely the woman’s choice or saying they would support her either way. We know our culture has told men they don’t have a place in this conversation (except when they are encouraged to publicly support abortion rights), even though many women do want their input. Encouraging men to be part of the conversation and giving couples resources can help them make informed decisions together. 

3. Men Feel the Negative Effects of Abortion Too. 

Abortion affects men emotionally. A smaller study by Support After Abortion found that 83% of men either sought help after an abortion or felt they needed it. Men reported feelings of depression, sadness, guilt, regret, anxiety, anger, thoughts of what could have been, emptiness, and substance abuse issues. Whether or not a man anticipates the grief of loss that comes by way of abortion, our culture’s silence on the effects of abortion on men does not promote men’s wellbeing.  

Our Healing Tide Program provides support after abortion to not only women but also to men and couple because we know men need healing too. Learn more about our Healing Tide program here.  

4. A Father’s Presence Makes a Difference. 

A father’s presence in a child’s life significantly improves household wellbeing. When fathers are involved, mothers experience less stress, and children have better outcomes. Without a father, there are higher risks of infant mortality and lower high school graduation rates. The data shows that fatherhood matters. When healthy dads are involved in their families, everyone benefits.  

5. A Father’s Early Involvement Predicts Future Engagement. 

Research shows that fathers who are involved early on, especially during the transition to fatherhood, are more likely to stay engaged in their child’s life. Early involvement shapes a man’s expectations and behaviors as a father. Providing new dads with tools and support during pregnancy can help them succeed and stay involved. 

6. Fatherhood and Marriage Are Good for Men. 

Studies show that married men are generally richer, happier, and healthier. Marriage reduces the incidence of male malaise and promotes overall wellbeing. Despite claims that marriage and family life are bad deals for men, the evidence suggests otherwise. Encouraging men to engage in conversations about relational stability and marriage can provide the support they need to thrive. 

Fatherhood is making a comeback. Be a part of the movement! 

Dads matter and we are so grateful to be a part of the work of Care Net of Puget Sound alongside every volunteer, supporter, church, staff member and ministry partner!  

You can learn more about our men’s programs by clicking here. If you know a dad who could benefit from our free one-on-one mentoring we’d love to help. Check out or share our program with him. Visit carenetps.org/men.  

And if you (or anyone you know) is a man struggling after an abortion decision (whether that experience was 4 months ago or 40 years ago) we want to support you. All support is completely confidential and no-cost. Email a man who has been there at healingtidemen@carenetps.org.

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